(Part 2 – Previously the FTLC reported on the worst places downtown to use the bathroom. Read on to find the better options to pop a squat.)

BEST places to use the bathroom

  • TARPON BEND – If you can get past the long lines and the men’s bathroom door hitting you as rude dudes exit, this bar has very nice bathroom facilities. The sink guard lady (SGL) at Tarpon Bend is very supportive. For instance, a friend of mine once used the facilities to perform a bowel movement and afterwards the SGL asked her if everything came out okay. Sometimes we all need a little positive reinforcement after a BM.
  • BRINEY’S PUB (not the one on the New River) In a period when Briney’s took over a portion of Coyote Ugly, the bathroom situation has dramatically improved. My favorite thing about Briney’s toilets is the stall doors; they go all the way to the floor! When taking a moment to yourself, you feel as if you are in your own private sanctuary. Personally, I perform better under the guise of privacy.
  • POORHOUSE – No lines, the toilets are fully operational and there is no SGL! Think of all the money you will save without having the sink guard lady guilt-trip you into giving her a dollar after you pee. Inside the stall is a little mirror you can use to primp yourself and a shelf to place your purse. This is by far the BEST place to use the restroom. I recommend both urinating and defecating here. I would rather use the bathroom here than my own apartment …well almost. *Side note: Poorhouse‘s bathrooms transformed from the worst downtown toilets to the best after their recent renovation. Kudos to Poorhouse!
  • DICEY RILEY’S – I have to give this bar props for somewhat consistently keeping clean bathrooms despite the large crowds. Dicey Riley’s is a popular place and there are a lot of people using the facilities. The downside to this bathroom is the SGL and the excessively long lines. *Secret hint: if the line at Dicey’s is too long, you can easily sneak out the back door and go to Poorhouse’s bathroom.
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