by Fat Hand
Now that the Oscars are over, there’s apparently only two things going on in the world these days that are worth reporting: revolution in Libya and revelations about Charlie Sheen. So in the interest of total media saturation, we add to one of the aforementioned topics: Charlie Sheen of course.
Hysterically, there is an impossible-to-miss billboard (located on 95 between Broward and Sunrise) of Charlie Sheen gazing lustily over Ft. Lauderdale. It’s as if he knows Spring Break 2k11 is upon us.
Hopefully billboard-Charlie is here to help the FTL. We all know that Charlie spends his entire day winning. And that he blinked and cured his mind of all his addictions. I appeal to the great Adonis Assassin Warlock to help our city. We want want to win in our underwear before our first cup of coffee too! Please billboard-Charlie, blink and erase the corruption in our city and county governments with your mind. Let us borrow your brain for like, 5 seconds, to make our city’s budget woes melt away like the face of a person that just snorted some natural Charlie Sheen. We’re tired of pretending we’re not special too, and we want what’s coming to us: tons.
We are lucky to have a bitchin’ tiger-blooded rockstar from Mars watching over us. And whoever paid for that billboard, please don’t take it down.