the billboard between Sunrise and Broward of Charlie Sheen

by Fat Hand

Now that the Oscars are over, there’s apparently only two things going on in the world these days that are worth reporting: revolution in Libya and revelations about Charlie Sheen. So in the interest of total media saturation, we add to one of the aforementioned topics: Charlie Sheen of course.

Hysterically, there is an impossible-to-miss billboard (located on 95 between Broward and Sunrise) of Charlie Sheen gazing lustily over Ft. Lauderdale. It’s as if he knows Spring Break 2k11 is upon us.

Hopefully billboard-Charlie is here to help the FTL. We all know that Charlie spends his entire day winning. And that he blinked and cured his mind of all his addictions. I appeal to the great Adonis Assassin Warlock to help our city. We want want to win in our underwear before our first cup of coffee too! Please billboard-Charlie, blink and erase the corruption in our city and county governments with your mind. Let us borrow your brain for like, 5 seconds, to make our city’s budget woes melt away like the face of a person that just snorted some natural Charlie Sheen. We’re tired of pretending we’re not special too, and we want what’s coming to us: tons.

We are lucky to have a bitchin’ tiger-blooded rockstar from Mars watching over us. And whoever paid for that billboard, please don’t take it down.

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