Living downtown is great and it’d be really easy to write a post about all the perks of living near FTL’s mini skyscrapers, but let’s face it, complaining is a lot more fun. Despite double digit noise complaints and 2 evictions, I’ve loved living in historic Sailboat Bend for the last 4 years; however, I do have some requests to improve the downtown community. Here are 5 that I’ve hand picked off my carefully chosen list (in no particular order):
Super Publix Parking Garage
Like most days, my fridge is empty. The main reason for the lack of groceries is that I loathe having to park my minivan on the 2nd story of Publix‘s parking deck. Even though it extends my grocery store trip by only 1-2 minutes, it just feels so unnecessary. It’d be worth it if the actual inside of the grocery store was bigger than most supermarkets, but it’s not — in fact, I think it’s smaller. Just to top things off, sometimes you’ll get the moron with the full shopping cart who forgoes the elevator and clogs the people mover, forcing you to painfully stand idle for the longest minute of your life. For the sake of downtown locals, can someone from Publix make a deal with the bail bonds people across the street for more 1st floor parking?
Side note: I’ve partially solved my issue with the 3 story parking lot with my new hog. Take that Super Publix !
Do We Need 3 Late Night Pizza Places On The Same Block?
Off the top of my head, I can count 6 after hours pizza joints within a couple blocks of each other, 3 on the same block, 2 next to each other (Squiggy’s and that new place called El Carnivale!), and 1 that’s been trying to open for the last twelve months (Village Pie). Can someone with a cash flow open up a late night burrito spot that also serves nachos? Maybe a greasy burger and fries spot? I heard from a friend that drunk people like eating that kind of stuff.
The Ultimate Sports Bar That’s Nothing like Ultimate Sports Bar
Besides the fact that it gets my vote for the most unoriginal named bar in Fort Lauderdale, I’ll never understand the logic for naming a place that’s not open on Sundays for Dolphins football games the Ultimate Sports Bar. Heck, I’ve never even seen a single live sports telecast on any of their 40+ TV screens in there. A more appropriate name for that bar should have been Ultimate Pitbull Music Video Bar or Opposite Of Ultimate Sports Bar. Thankfully, the name has recently been changed back to the name we’ve always called it, Capones (Dirty Blondes take note). I’m tired of watching American football games at America’s Backyard. Don’t even get me started on Crazy 8’s Sports Lounge. I’m not asking for much. All I want is for someone to open a sports bar similar to Duffy’s or Ale House that serves $6 Icehouse pitchers and actually shows sports and not Yo! MTV Raps music videos on their TV screens. Hurry up too. I plan on watching all 72+ regular season wins by the Miami Heat this year.
The Davie/ 4th Avenue Eternal Red Light
Seriously, this stop light is almost always red when I approach going north/south on 4th Avenue. I haven’t timed it in a while because my old school Casio watch I got for 80,000 dong keeps breaking for some reason (who would have guessed), but I swear the red light lasts for at least 2 minutes and the green light for 15 seconds, creating a significant line of disappointed drivers that are forced to wait too long. If it’s possible, I’ll usually take a quick right turn, followed by an illegal U-ey to avoid waiting for the light to change. All I ask is for the city to show some respect to the 4th Avenue loyalists, and give us a little more green.
Why Do We Have So Many Trains?!?!
Let me preface this issue by saying, I love the Tri Rail. It’s a cheap, and somewhat efficient way to get from Broward Blvd. to Calle Ocho. Unfortunately, the trains that pass through downtown FTL aren’t the short, double decker trains, but the long, painfully slow cargo trains that frequently come to halts while cars patiently wait to cross the tracks. Typically, I’ll use the idle time at the railroad crossing for finally calling my mom back or tweeting about how much I hate the trains in Ft. Lauderdale.