Coming to a Stage Near You: These Guys

by Fat Hand

Fort Lauderdale can you feel it? Can you feel the buzz, the excitement, the impending madness? That feeling is just the realization that these three guys are about to spend the next week or so harrassing the hell out of us.

Each of these guys came out on top in one of the first three Republican primaries (Ok, Iowa’s was actually a caucus but that is beyond the scope of this blog), and the Republican party seems as undecided as ever. So prepare for an onslaught of negative tv ads, robocalls, campaign rallies, debates (there’s one tonight) and the occassional live broadcast from an entirely disclosed location on an MSNBC or CNN morning show (Mika Brzezinski, let the FTLC know if you need a place to crash).

Although we are not registered Republicans and therefore cannot vote in the upcoming closed primary, I must admit that some of us are excited these guys are coming to town. A lot of people could care less, but we love this shit. Our only regret is that Ron Paul is not really going to be campaigning in Florida. Florida is big and expensive and the primary is winner take all (so no chance scoring a few delegates) and therefore it is not a good investment of Ron Paul’s money and time. I guess we do have another regret: that Herm Cain dropped out of the race a long time ago, and so probably won’t be trying to pick up chicks at Blue Martini.

So anyway, we promise not to keep you abreast of all the comings and goings of these guys, we are sure they will do that themselves. But over the next week or so, if you get asked for money outside 7-11, just realize that it might be Rick Santorum doing the begging.